Poor Guardian. Soaring through the air in search of rats, either criminal or dinner, some wannabe pilot flew a drone into his wing. Now he sits at home watching day-time TV. “At least I’m getting mail.” Searching through his delivery, Guardian spots an envelope with no return address. He opens it and finds a word search puzzle, nothing else. Oh well, here goes: GARAGE, MEET, SATURDAY, CAPITOL, ELEVEN, THIRD, NIGHT, FLOOR. "Strange puzzle. Ooh, I get it. Meet Saturday night at eleven on the third floor of the Capitol garage. Sounds very film noir, better wear my fedora so I fit the part.”

Saturday night is upon us and Guardian makes his way around the third floor. Finally, he sees a dark shadow behind one of the pillars near the elevator. "Must be my guy. My heart is racing, but I must remain calm. Just like Bogie.”

"Psst. Gordon. Get over here.”

"Name’s Guardian.”

"I don’t care. Get over here. Listen, I read the article in your paper, CI Times, about the fake diplomas. You know what you’re talking about. I used to be in the paper business, kid, and what I know could knock your socks off. We dealt with legit clients who constantly keep a step or two ahead of those counterfeiters. Let me tell you something, kid, with printer technology these days, that’s not a simple task. What differentiates the paper and let’s me know if it’s genuine or fake is the composition, the fibers, got it? We can also add shades to the paper with dyes, and those black light fibers are gold. Watermarks, too.”

"But what’s to stop one of the counterfeit mills from buying that quality?”, says Guardian.

"Money, kid. Security features cost money, and those fly-by-nights don’t want to pay it. They like to do things as cheap as they can.”

“So how can you tell if the fibers are high quality?”

“Give me any piece of paper and I can tell you more than you think. I’ll put that paper in a blender until the fibers come apart, put those little babies under a microscope, and tell you exactly what tree they came from.

”Gasp! "You can tell if the paper came from my childhood home?”

“Not that exact, bird! I mean what kind of tree!”

“Sorry to correct you, but Officer Byrd is Judge Judy’s bailiff. I am Guardian, P.I. like that Magnum guy, only better dressed.”

“Lay off the TV for awhile, P.I.”